Sad Christmas

I'm not quite sure how old I was, somewhere between 7 and 10. For so many years I was lead to believe these people are my family: my aunt's, cousins, even another grandma. Don't get me wrong, there was much love passed my way, but that Christmas was one of the first times I realized that I just didn't belong. Here I am the only child of a wonderful mom and stepdad (my daddy), spoiled rotten and feeling so down and out because I am sitting in the middle of Christmas with someone else's family.  Two little white fur coats, that's all it took for me to feel unwelcome and an outsider. See my "grandmother" had purchased these two little white fur coats for my "cousins", I'm sitting there like "where is mines, don't I get one too, we are all your babies right". WRONG I didn't get one. They made sure "the little spoiled girl" saw them parading around in their pretty little white furs. To this day I have made them more family then they have made me. I address their mom's as aunt such and such while they simply refer to my mother by her first name. I never realized how that one thing had made such a impact on my life. I have never told a sole how that made me feel, but even my mother. She tried to have a surrogate family for me but there is nothing like the love you get from REAL family.